I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
God, I missed his penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
