that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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