One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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