If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
