I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
