if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
