Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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