I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
