11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize