why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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