It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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