the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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