Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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