She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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