If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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