would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
