Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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