Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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