Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
