why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
