The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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