i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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