I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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