I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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