I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
