i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize