hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
