This girl is more easily done than said...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize