Sober January is a disaster.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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