whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
