He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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