and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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