I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just google imaged poop.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
