I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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