I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
