Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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