i really wish james franco would like my vagina
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We're too hungover to prance.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
