to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
