I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
