Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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