Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize