ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
