Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
