Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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