the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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