I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize