i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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