ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
