is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
