so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
