saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
