All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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