How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
