your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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