It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
