We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
