New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Everclear isn't food dammit
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize