I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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