i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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