I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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