We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
where am i from again
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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