It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
